Why women deserve the world. A period story (but not gross)

Recently, on a night when I was feeling like hell physically and I was in the process of attempting to rectify that by making myself some sustenance- which had to be preceded by a warm beverage for my stomach which was mad at me through (almost) no fault of my own, I happened to browse the fridge for tools to aid in my quest. This is when I saw the most glorious sight I had seen in a while (see picture below).

This is jello. Believe me.
The camera did not capture how enticing it was. Believe me.

For those of you wondering, this is jello. Jello that had already been partaken of by some members of the family but regardless, jello that- to my eyes- were to be my saving grace in my time of need. I grabbed a spoon and dug right in, forgetting for a moment the bigger mission. My memory kicked in some minutes later and I remedied my course of action by adding some hot cocoa.

I watermarked it because I know such a masterpiece will be the envy of many and when shared, I want the credit I am due. Oh, hello there, sarcasm. It's been a while.
I watermarked it because I know such a masterpiece will be the envy of many and when shared, I want the credit I am due. Oh, hello there, sarcasm. It’s been a while.

By now you should be grasping that I was in a less than alright state of mind and you are rightfully wondering “what the hell, Nas? Jello’s cool and all but…”. And I get it. You see, no rational mind craves jello and hot cocoa as the perfect combination for…well, anything really. Don’t think I wasn’t aware of this in the moment. I mean, I had the presence of mind to go get my phone and take the pictures, didn’t I? Give me some credit. If you are not wondering the aforementioned, chances are you are a member of the 50(51?)% of the world’s population who have to go through what I was experiencing, every month (pregnancy and irregular reproductive organ functioning aside).

Gif Source
Gif Source. I am not responsible for any trauma you may encounter by clicking the source. Also, do not connect the gif and the two previous pics. Do not. For your own good.

That’s right, I was due my monthly visit by Mother Nature to be notified if I was with child or no (let’s ignore how similar the symptoms for PMS and pregnancy are) consequence of which I was not in my rightest of minds especially where food was concerned. And it got me thinking, men haven’t the slightest inkling of a clue that would lead to a hint of even the tip of the iceberg that is the trauma experience of having a menstrual cycle. None whatsoever! And yet they feel it’s ok to make some of the most disrespectful and ignorant statements where this process is concerned.

Photo Credit
Photo Credit

What gets me is we pretty much acquiesce to you men when it comes to the best treatment for your manly parts and functions.

When it comes to your testicles and penis, we don’t tell you to get over being kicked int he nuts. We don’t tell you to toughen them up at all! And yet…

I don’t see commercials telling men directly or indirectly how unsightly/distasteful it is to adjust themselves in public but the commercials and products to help women hide a perfectly normal and necessary biological function are rampant! And don’t think this is me equating my period with the slight discomfort of having a part of your body rest on another part. See: breasts. This was just the biggest “problem” physically I could see that men faced and I tried to connect it. Work with me here!

It is not ok to ask if, imply in any way or tell a woman that, she is used to the pain and inconvenience that comes with having a period every month. The fact that this would make sense to any of you makes me question this “rational” mind people claim men have. If you got stabbed 4-7 days (sometimes more) every month, no exceptions, (through no influence of your own) and you bled every day from the womb wounds but healed the week after would you get used to the pain and the blood? Would you? Don’t BS me when answering now ’cause I have seen many a man taken down by a paper cut.

Photo Credit
Photo Credit

And then if we react violently to your idiotic questions and statements, you hear how unstable we are. Damn right, we’re unstable! You try bleeding every month through no action of your own except, you know, being alive and healthy and fertile, and have it be preceded and/or accompanied by extreme fatigue, severe pain, nausea and mood swings and tell me how stable you feel.

You know what, don’t tell me anything. Just shut up. No uterus, no say! Get me some comfort food, a hot water bottle/bag and/or some painkillers and be quiet. And don’t have any damn fun while I’m in pain either, you insensitive jerk!

While I will admit, we will have mood swings we can’t necessarily control, most of us do not lose our grasp on reality.

Photo Credit
Photo Credit

Here’s another fun thing about PMS, it makes some of us more loving at moments. I can attest to this. But somehow this is generally ruined by men talking.

And for those of you who “require” servicing in the bedroom when your woman is going through this time of the month, I want you to think about how up for any sexual activity you would be when the flu or some other virus is ravaging your body and then stab yourself in the face with a fork for being so selfish!

Photo Credit
Photo Credit

The fact that we women deal with this for most of our teen and adult lives and we don’t go on murderous rampages should be commended and more importantly, is the reason this post has the title it does.

And for sticking around this long, here is audio-visual representation by Superwoman of what I just typed with even more actual jokes! Yaaay!

Featured Image Source

Until next post!

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