Dear NWC Jamaica

Hello, old friend

Yes, I use the term loosely- as loosely as you interpret your duty to provide me with water on a regular basis. I assume that we must, by now, be on some cordial level seeing as we have had a relationship with each other since my birth at least. I don’t know if I can claim for the months I was in my mother’s womb where you and her were social- vicarious friendship maybe? Semantics really.

I am writing today to speak to you about the turbulent waters (all puns intended) our friendship have been navigating. Read More

Google Played Me

You lovely and smart readers know about the Google Voice Search app and all its cousins, yeah? You know its functions and for the lazy “few” of us, you see how awesome it is. I was thinking it was awesome until it gave me shade (subtle or not-so-subtle dissing- look up examples for further edification) the largest, widest oak trees could not provide.

I was clearly feeling myself when I decided to try and search my name (which I hardly ever do because not much comes up. Welp!) and Voice Search was of the notion that I needed to be brought down a notch. So it brought me down 4 whole notches 🙁 (Please see below).

For those who may not know, as they have decided to not “like” my page or read my “About” page, my name is Nastassian Brandon. I very clearly said these two words to Voice Search and it apparently heard….

Ok, so maybe I said my name too fast this time. Lemme try again.

“Nice sen Rand on”? Ok, so maybe I said my name too fast this time. Lemme try again.

Take 2

"math test CNN Ryan Dunn?" Google, yaa mad?  Did your ears have a seizure?

“math test CNN Ryan Dunn?” Google, yaa mad? Did your ears have a seizure?

Take 3

"mad text stacey-ann brand on". Oh, well, at least my surname is there kinda and there is an actual first name present. We're getting warmer.

“mad text stacey-ann brand on”. Oh, well, at least my surname is there kinda and there is an actual first name present. We’re getting warmer.

 

Take 4

"nasty sexy and" GOOGLE VOICE! You don't know me like that. I'm not that kind of girl! I mean, I am sexy but...geez!

“nasty sexy and” GOOGLE VOICE! You don’t know me like that. I’m not that kind of girl! I mean, I am sexy but…geez! And those results that popped up…. naa, Google, you playing. I’m done. 

I decided to call it a night after this one. Google was clearly trying to let me know that I am not a factor and I need to reevaluate my life. Which I will now proceed to do.

Until next post!

Blog end note