Minding Yendi’s Business: A How NOT To

I have seen the references to the article and ignored them. I have seen the references to the Facebook and Instagram posts and ignored them. Then I saw the tweets saying that due to the fact that Yendi Phillips was very public about her romance with Daniel “Chino” McGregor, we are now entitled to all aspects of her private life including knowing what happens with regards to her minor child. Now let me stand firmly in my view that I do not support this.

My friend Ricardo Brooks wrote a post title “Yendi has no right to privacy and unfortunately neither does her child”.

Now, this approach taken that has Yendi having her right snatched from her is one of the highest level of entitlement. Apparently, because Yendi is famous and decided to share the story of her relationship that led to the making of a child, we are now entitled to know everything regarding Yendi and said baby henceforth. Excuse (every single one of) you?!

If I decide to tell you about everything in my life but the way I like orange juice, you are NOT entitled to know the way I like my orange juice. If I tell you about the way I like all forms of fruit juices up to November 2014 and I decide to stop telling you about the way I like fruit juices after November 2014, you are not entitled to know about the way I like fruit juices after November 2014.

I use very simple examples to show you that you are not entitled to know anything about me and my personal life, even the simplest or most trivial, regardless of what I have shared with you in the past. This is applicable to everyone.

Everyone is entitled to say “stop”.

Everyone is entitled to say “no more”

Everyone is entitled to say “I wish to share only this and no more of myself”

If you feel like someone somehow lured you into caring about their life and now you are hooked and crave more, that is absolutely on you and though that may top up your entitlement account, it does not mean that that person has to cash you out with the info you feel you deserve to know.

Just as we wish for Yendi to take blame for people having an interest in her life let us hold ourselves accountable.

The documents reported on are public documents which had not yet been put on the public domain (the matter has yet to go before a Court and the other party had yet to be served papers- from what I gathered from reports). The newspaper that reported on them knows why they chose to report on the foreshadowed custody battle of a high-profile couple when it doesn’t regularly report on custody battles in the country. Balancing both sides, while I am not surprised at the actions of the newspaper, I cannot say that I do not empathize with Yendi with feeling the need to publicly ask for privacy for herself and her child in this matter.

Confidentiality is a major and the most crucial characteristic of the Family courts of Jamaica. At the heart of that is the purpose of operating with the welfare of the child in mind. If the rest of society operated in this manner, the different types of families would be that much better off for it. Once you become someone who feels that a CHILD has no rights to privacy because his/her parents are public people, you need to take a step back and reevaluate your head-space.

Yes, Miss Phillips may have been able to “help” her situation by being quiet but I dare to speculate that her silence would be used against her in this society where many are set on finding issues with her because it solidifies their feelings of dislike towards her. But we all have the option of looking away at any moment. That is never taken away. Just like our right to privacy is not vanquished haphazardly. And to tell someone to not speak up for themselves- someone who has previously been quite vocal- is an unfair request.

Expectations and knowing how the public is aside, it is not unheard of to think that the public can and should have boundaries. And simply because the public has a history of not respecting boundaries based on privilege or even lack thereof, does not make it acceptable.

Woe be the day that anyone or group feels entitled to information about you that you would rather keep to yourself because one day you told a group about the time you kissed a person.

 

[There are no pictures or links in this post as the point is simply to state my views on the matter and not to inform anyone about Yendi’s or her child’s life.]

Until next post!

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