The last thing I want to do right now is write. Which tells me two things:
- This is how I know I need to write
- I am really sick
I have spent most of the day in bed. Sinus medication waits for no man or woman. I have slept away valuable hours and I am unsure of what I did while I was awake. I do know I ate and for that, my body is grateful. I thought about two posts to write and I will write them this week. I just didn’t want to seem insincere to try and write about something funny or cheerful when I feel so crappy. I am pretty sure it would show in my writing unless I forced myself to a happy place and, honestly, that’s more energy than I am willing to spare just now.
And I know I’ll feel better if I push through and get to a happy place and I’ll likely wish I got there sooner but sometimes one just needs to recharge and…be. That’s exactly what I want to do now- to just be.
I’m not feeling sad per se, just maybe a little blue. I feel like being in my shell for a bit while my body heals. And I take comfort in knowing that it can and will do so on its own (ie, without the help of anyone but me). This is not to say I don’t appreciate and will refrain from seeking the help of others when I get sick in the future, not at all. I just find it necessary to do this on my own right now. A couple of hours ago, I didn’t feel this way. I was sort of bummed that a certain someone or certain someones didn’t check on me. Boo hoo, right? But now, I’m actually feeling like I’m glad I can be as gross (in appearance, not in actions) and weak in my sickness as I want and not feel like I am inconveniencing anyone or worrying about how to show my gratitude (which is something that usually causes me so much anxiety, I think it helped delay my getting better most times).
There is strength in knowing you can heal yourself.
That’s the lesson I’m taking away from this.
I smiled as I typed that just now. Ugh! My mood is improving. That was not my intention. I was to sulk a little and explain why I’m not writing a fabulous post for you Nasmaniacs.
Oh, well. Writing takes me to unexpected destinations all the time so I won’t act surprised. I’m gonna go back to watching 40 days and 40 Nights now and continue to have my Nastalgia fix 🙂
P.S. I am not here for all the chocolate sweets that are in my house while my sinuses wreak havoc on me! Pray for my “skrenf”, y’all