Blog everyday til my birthday. T-10 days. Self-love

In (less than) 10 days I will be celebrating my birthday. I will be able to say that I’m in my late twenties and I’m excited and pensive. Because this birthday will be spent differently from the one last year and from any other before. I’m looking forward to it and I’m also aware that it means I’m taking a step further into grown woman-dom. Which got me thinking…

I got this impression that as you get older, as a woman, you eventually stop giving a damn about Read More

Minding Yendi’s Business: A How NOT To

I have seen the references to the article and ignored them. I have seen the references to the Facebook and Instagram posts and ignored them. Then I saw the tweets saying that due to the fact that Yendi Phillips was very public about her romance with Daniel “Chino” McGregor, we are now entitled to all aspects of her private life including knowing what happens with regards to her minor child. Now let me stand firmly in my view that I do not support this.

My friend Ricardo Brooks wrote a post title “Yendi has no right to privacy and unfortunately neither does her child”.

Now, this approach taken that has Yendi having her right snatched from her is one of the highest level of entitlement. Apparently, because Yendi is famous and decided to share the story of her relationship that led to the making of a child, we are now entitled to know everything regarding Yendi and said baby henceforth. Excuse (every single one of) you?!

If I decide to tell you about everything in my life but the way I like orange juice, you are NOT entitled to know the way I like my orange juice. If I tell you about the way I like all forms of fruit juices up to November 2014 and I decide to stop telling you about the way I like fruit juices after November 2014, you are not entitled to know about the way I like fruit juices after November 2014.

I use very simple examples to show you that you are not entitled to know anything about me and my personal life, even the simplest or most trivial, regardless of what I have shared with you in the past. This is applicable to everyone.

Everyone is entitled to say “stop”.

Everyone is entitled to say “no more”

Everyone is entitled to say “I wish to share only this and no more of myself”

If you feel like someone somehow lured you into caring about their life and now you are hooked and crave more, that is absolutely Read More

tessanne chin the voice

Dear Tessanne Chin… The Voice is not enough

Dearest Tessanne,

I know this may be a trying time to be writing this letter but I come to you earnestly because this situation needs to be turned around as soon as possible if we are to salvage it. I will make this short and simple. You may take my words with as many grains of salt as possible; you may also ignore them completely. But darling Tessanne, winning The Voice was not enough. Read More

Calling all hearts: Help needed for a friend

Hello to my lovely readers. Today, I have an appeal to make to your hearts that requires some appeal to be made to your….pockets. I wouldn’t do this if it wasn’t a worthy and necessary cause.

Yan

My friend Yanique Levy is in America enrolled in a Clinical Psychologist program at Nova Southeastern University and she is doing stellar work academically but she has hit a rock financially and she is in need of assistance to continue on her journey. It took a LOT of work to get her where she is and if she has to drop out, it will be a major setback and heartbreaking outcome after the financial sacrifices made thus far. I have seen firsthand how dedicated she is about Sports Psychology. I assisted her in her work with The Immaculate High School track team and the Waterhouse football team here in Jamaica and the bond she created with the members of those teams along with the growth that took place in their mental and physical performance was enough to have me want to do the same.

I know we’ve all hit hard times and money is tight but every little bit counts. I am asking and Yanique is asking for your help by donating to her Fundly account. The deadline is this Friday, May 16 so I hope we can make some major progress with this by then.

There is more information about Yanique and how to donate once you click the link and I really hope you do.

I’ll place it here as well: https://fundly.com/help-yanique and hope for abundant blessings.

Thank you for reading and especially thank you for donating if you do.

Much love,

Nas.

What’s wrong with being trendy?

I know a lot of people who pride themselves on being trendy and I also know a lot who pride themselves on being the very opposite. So which is better to be? It would seem that if you are a fashionista, fashionister, involved with fashion in any way or in any type of job that requires you to be tapped in to what the masses like, being trendy is essential. However, if one is a hipster (*keeps comments to self*), an average Joe or Jane or just someone who “keeps it real”, one would do well to avoid being trendy like the plague and to make it known to the world that one is anti-trendy.

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I have never been one to say I am trendy. Not because I think I am above it (though that has, on occasion, been my reason to myself and to others) but more because I could not afford to be trendy. I do not come from a well-to-do family nor was I in tune with what was hip. I only recall a couple occasions when I felt a bit out of place because of the clothes I wore or the gadgets I did not have. At the time, I did not realize but this was usually because my body was small so my clothes didn’t quite fit the way other girls’ clothes fit so even if I had the latest dresses (note: I disliked dresses a great deal as a child) I still would not feel like I fit the mold that the rest of my peers did. As for the gadgets, my feeling left out was normal and dealing with it in a positive manner from a young age would prepare me for situations in the future where this feeling would no doubt prevail. I had the advantage of not really caring so much about what others had. It was cemented in my head by my mother that I was not to be envious of others. You never know how someone comes by their possessions so don’t covet. More than that, if you are to have something, you will have it. I would come to realize that whenever I forgot these words of wisdom, I would fall prey to a trap of misery.

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But back to the question at hand- what’s wrong with being trendy? My response is Read More

An honest post about me: Taming the beast

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For reasons unknown to me, writing scares me. There are times that the thoughts and ideas and feelings are like an aggressive monster with teeth gnashing away at me and I’m unclear if the solution is to run away or to try and subdue it. Ok, I’ll be honest- the solution is always to try to tranquilize (alliteration party!) but sometimes it seems like the harder choice.

Even though it is the thing that calms me the most, the thing I most hold dear when I do it, I sometimes put it off writing out of guilt (these law courses aren’t going to learn themselves). When I then decide I want to start again, I see a mountain that I have to climb that wasn’t there when I left. And I don’t get why I see a mountain because writing is easy. It’s simple. It’s almost second nature to me. And yet…

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Time and time again, the advice is to “just start”. It gets better from there. It will all work out if you just start. But that step is the hardest most times. Read More

People and lightbulbs

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“How many lightbulbs does it take to change people?”

Just one. The trick is. They have to turn it on for themselves.

Please do not tie yourself to the agony of trying to change someone. You cannot. Regardless of what you’ve heard or seen in fiction (even the kind claimed to be based on reality), no one changes for another person. Not in the way you think. They change for the way that person makes them feel. They change for the things they think they’ll get from becoming better or worse or just different to get/keep that person.

And you cannot control how someone will see you. You cannot predict what you will inspire them to do. You can only control how you be yourself.

Change your own bulb.

Until next post!

Blog end note